When I was living through the worst of my chronic health issues, I had the belief that I was “broken”. That unless I could make myself perfectly healthy in the eyes of traditional medicine, I was somehow a failure.

I know different now, and I so wish I hadn’t wasted years standing in that vision of brokenness. I can be compassionate with myself and know now that I simply didn’t have the resources to know any better.

I was crippled with this perception of who I was, and add to that the desperation to “be well” – what was really happening is that I was keeping myself stuck in a nervous system state of fear and rejection of self.

It has taken years of work to see myself and my particular health circumstances as both unique and utterly whole. My definition of health is very different now to what it was a decade ago. Who I am at 50 is definitely not who I was at 40, and despite all of the pain I can truly say I’m grateful for the lessons.

I’m now able to hold and support others in the depths of the grief that comes from living with chronic, invisible conditions. Think of me as someone that can walk gently beside you, truly knowing how every step feels; the glimmers of hope and tiny improvements, the utter devastation of crashes and detours. I’ve walked through them all and am here to confidently tell you it is possible to live well AND be happy, despite labels and diagnoses that may say otherwise.

Radical acceptance of who you are, exactly as you are, is key. It takes courage and time to get there. When we are at war with ourselves our body hears us. Our cells respond accordingly. This is a fundamental truth I believe we don’t discuss enough in the context of healing from autoimmune disease.

Dropping the idea of perfectionism before you think you have “arrived” is the antithesis to current culture. We must strive for a more nuanced and diverse acceptance of wholeness. One that includes every shade of dark and light on the spectrum of wellness.

I still have good days and bad; it’s ok. I accept that is where I am. I lean into what my body tells me instead of raging against it.

Be kind to yourself today!